I wanted to do this a long time ago, just didn't have time >.> I'll put this post front form the rest because I'll be updating it every time something changes xD [with my pace of watching dramas, it's changing too quickly, so I'll probably update every week or so]
FINISHED DRAMAS -update 10.07.2010-
( daibu shite mite ;) )
UNFINISHED/CURRENTLY WATCHING DRAMAS -updated~
( koko mo 8D )*sweat* DONE. EDIT DAY - OMG, if I counted right, they're about 164! *is thrilled* I didn't think I'd watched that many!
Merry Christmas everyone =D Happy New Year!
To those that got apart from me this year, to those I went apart this year, to those I sent cards and to those I didn't - I hope you have a happy, healthy, full of achievements and of course, fangirly 2012 :3 I'm not superstitious so I don't believe the world will end like what everyone has been saying, so you'd all better enjoy it to the fullest ;) And plus, just how many of us haven't gone to Japan yet? I for one thing still hasn't, so the world won't end until I kiss the land of my life XD
And then again, if it does end, it certainly won't be because of what people say. It'll be because of the evil politicians we all have in our countries and their stupid decisions. If we let children govern the world for a few months, it would be fixed right away, I believe XD
So happy holidays and all again =3
I don't know whether or how much I'll be able to be online these days, so this is probably my last greeting to you all XD I hope not though :p
2011 meme. My year wasn't good, so this is gonna be a bit depressive, maybe. I warned you.
1. Was 2011 a good year for you?
No. Apart from certain moments, it was worse than what "shitty" can describe.
I want 2012 to be better.
2. What was your favorite moment of the year?
Two of the days in Singapore- the first time I met my Singaporean girls and the karaoke we did that night, and the day I went to Singapore on the spot just to meet
3. What was your least favorite moment of the year?
The day grandma lost her fight with uterus cancer and passed away. We were hanging on and we were told she would die any day now almost a month before she finally passed away, and she was slowly dying for much longer than just that... The whole thing had taken her down from the start, 3 years ago.
Also, on a more personal note, the same day I was accepted for an internship in Japan, my dad said he won't let me go because of the radiation. He also said, because I told him he's stealing my life from me, that Japan should get another earthquake that will drown it to the depth of the ocean.
4. What are your plans for 2012?
To try getting a job (if people decide to start hiring again) and save up so I can go to Japan even for a trip.
5. What countries did you visit?
Malaysia for work and Singapore for fun 8D
6. What date in 2011 will remain etched in your memory?
11th of March. We all know why. and 12th of June, when grandma passed away :(
7. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
the trip to Malaysia and my work there. Volunteering in a program such as the one I was in was no easy task, especially when all the other AIESECers that were living with me were on a only 2-hours per day culture exchange program, and I was the only one who was working from 9am to nearly 7pm straight every day AND Saturdays too.
8. What was your biggest failure?
Uni, but that was everyone's too. There was no money to spend in Universities as stated from the government, so we got weird schedules and many cancelled lessons.
9. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Hmm... Nothing serious, nothing that went over a simple cold.
10. What was the best thing you bought?
Super Geki Blue and Shinken Yellow figures :3 I bought them in 2011, even if they won't arrive before 2012, so it still counts XD
I got hooked on Sentai in 2011, that's for sure :p
11. Who's behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Family. Some certain friends who went away without even telling me a few things. A couple of anon haters. And most of all, politicians *nodsnods*
12. Where did most of your money go?
Kanjani8, truly. Only the amount I paid for my trip to Malaysia and Singapore sides close to what I've spent on Eito this year, especially Ohkura, with all those POEPEYEs...
13. What did you get really really really excited about?
Meeting the girls from Singapore and Bel. It was my first time meeting foreign online friends in real <3 I met those from the Southern hemishpere and I still haven't met my European ones XD
14. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
From Eito, TWL, My Home, 365nichi Kazoku, and Tsubusa ni Koi. They were drama themes, and TWL because it's the only song my brother was able to memorize.
From SID, Wife and Ii Hito, because I've had them on repeat when the album was out.
From Acid Black Cherry, Chou. I think the song will stay in my head for a long time XD
It's just that they were released in 2011 and they are bound with certain events/ situations, so yeah.
Most of all though, 365nichi Kazoku. It's not a song I can appreciate for the lyrics, because my family and especially my relationship with my mother are not good, even if I try, but because Umareru got to me too much. Of course it was that I was translating it too, so I was listening to it too much eventually, but yeah^^' Shallow reasons this year, really.
15. Compared to this time last year are you:
a) Fatter or thinner? 8kg thinner 8D
b) Happier or sadder? ...Sadder. Because last year at this time I was sure I'd finally be able to go to Japan, and I wasn't, for a sad and idiotic reason.
c) Richer or poorer? WAY poorer. I had more than 500bucks at this time last year, and now... let's not talk about it.
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Studying Japanese :/ And French for Uni, eventually. SUBBING. *grabby hands on raw files*
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinating. I watched about 50 dramas from July to September this year, all to shove away what I really HAD to do *sigh*
18. How will you be spending Christmas?
I hope peacefully. Grandpa is gonna come over for lunch, and then, idk. I hope I can go out with someone, because if I stay in, I'm gonna get Xmas blues and cry.
19. Which LJ/MySpace users did you meet for the first time?
meet irl? MANY 8D Idk all their LJ names -or even if they DO have, all of whom I met, but those who have~
20. Did you fall in love in 2011?
No.
21. How many one night stands?
None.
22. What was your favourite TV show?
11nin mo Iru ;~; If it was broadcasted on a time I COULD watch it I'd even watch it in real time, but out of everything I've watched from 2011's seasons, that was it :3
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
...Hate is a hard word, but there is one person that I thought wasn't the kind that she is, and now I dislike her greately. Luckily we never were on the 'friends' term exactly either.
24. What was/were the best books you read?
Terry Pratchett's 8D Equal Rites was quite fun, Monstrous Regiment was awesome, but the best was Carpe Jugulum 8D IT WAS AMAZING IN SO MANY LEVELS asdfghgfdsasdfghjkljhgfdsa. Oh, and I'm still not done, but even though it was complicated, I liked Max Hastings' NEMESIS.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
not exactly "discovery" since I knew him from before... But I definitely listened to so much more of his music this year!
Matsushita Yuya :3
26. What did you want and get?
All Eito's releases (on CD levels). To get away (but I came back :P).
27. What did you want and not get?
To go to Japan :/
28. What was your favourite film this year?
Harry Potter, even though it was patched and stretched and sewn and not good, but COME ON, it was the end T~T NUUUUUUUUUUUU
29. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
...Mope all day, I think. I wasn't exactly happy, there were no surprises, there were fights, my cake was almost all full of chocolate (and I hate chocolate), I didn't get any presents on that day and almost no one remembered to wish me. Some way of turning 20
-_____-
30. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?
Going to Japan. I would be THERE writing this, right now, and I'd have been teaching english to little children until March 2012.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
...Random. Or rather, black pants. Seriously, I wore this one damn pair almost all through the year!
32. What kept you sane?
Eito.
33. Which celebrity did you fancy the most?
the Takagi twins 8D
34. Which political issue stirred you the most?
economy. GIVE US OUR MONEY BACK DAMMIT. I won't rant because this is gonna get huge, but they have become so desperate and PROFOUND in STEALING from us it's insane!
35. Who did you miss?
36. Did you treat somebody badly in 2011?
I think not, and I hope no one thinks I mistreated them too. Well, except for the older of my younger brothers.
37. Did somebody treat you badly in 2011?
Mentioned above, my brother. And a few others not worth mentioning.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
μηδενα προ του τελουςμακαριζε. In ancient greek, it means to never feel happy about something /consider it done until the end /until you achieve something. (still and forever bitter about Japan).
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year...
Nothing can sum up my year, from the songs in my knowledge. Maybe this.
そっと鏡の前に立っては
"これを臨んでたの? 望んではいないだろう?"
そんな顔で見つめられていた自分自身に
sotto kagami no mae ni tatte wa
kore wo nozodera no nozonde wa inai darou
sonna kao de mitsumerarete ita jibun jishin ni
Standing in front of the mirror softly
"Was this what I wanted? I didn't wish for this"
With such a face- staring at myself like this.
*sigh* I think I've taken an hour or so filling this up *looks* yes. And I kinda feel better now. This is how I spent my first hour of Xmas day, look at me XD
I'll go back to subbing now :p
When any resolutions meme pops up, poke me ppl XD I have many to do for 2012 :p
Leaving the house tomorrow at 6am to go to Athens by train (a 5 and something hours ride) for our Sunday exam of JLPT N4. Saying we, because it's me, my sister, and her best friend, just like last year. Our train ride won't be nice while GOING there, because I'll be sitting apart from them, but at least we'll all be together when we'll be returning.
Anyhow, where we're going has no internet and we won't be able to do anything else but revise on Saturday and go set for it on Sunday, and then die around because our train home is DAMN EARLY on Monday morning. I think at 6am or so.
So, I'll do my best at the exam and all the etc... though I'm not confident. Despite everything, I KNOW where I stand and I know that the kanji I studied weren't printed in my memory as I'd love them to. I really do learn randomly and memorize only the unnecessary stuff OTL Well, unnecessary for the exams, that is. Useful much for life over there (which is still only a dream, with the financial situation in Greece).
Anyway, my Christmas mood has been made into nail design!

crappy pic is crappy. But whatever. It's starry flower, snow, Xmas colors in random and snowed upon trees on thumbnail... Ah, also mistletoe. Yeah... Not too much inspiration, I know :p
Anyway, wish me luck for the exam!! =)
Baibai :3
PS - Once I'm back, I'm resuming all my subbing activities on the maximum too.
Some things have to go, because there's no more space in here for everything.
So I decided to sell up my mags. They're full of juniors anyway, and I'm not interested in them, so they'd better go to hands that will care for them ;)
Every magazine is full, no broken spines. All Kanjani8 pages and all posters are extracted, unless otherwise stated. Any other group's pages missing are mentioned. Stating the original prices as well (in yen), in case someone is interested. All prices are stated in euros. Pictures of the inside available upon request. All mags are in fairly good condition, any partial /damage/ mentioned and extracted from the price.
( mags and images )
ALL mags have been looked through about 10 times at worst~ Mostly opened up for scanning, but there is no spine or binding broken. If you want to confirm, you can request pictures =)
If you're interested in buying, leave a comment to this entry with your email, so I can send you payment details or reply the comment with further details as to what groups are featured, and give pictures as well :) All comments are screened.
Payment prices can be converted from EUR to any currency~ Shipping charges will be made only after the magazines have left my side, because postage rates differ for each country, but from my experience with sending parcels outside Greece, it's never over 5.00EUR.
PS - If anyone is interested in cutouts of Kansai Juniors, Jr groups, NEWS/Kis-my-FT2/ABC-Z etc, they're available from POPOLO April 2011 and WINKUP February 2011. Leave a comment if you want further info and pictures!! :3
calmI know many of you might not like this, since I've even been accused of ditching LJ for tumblr (which I don't even update), but I'm real sick of being around the net. It has nothing to do with any of my lovely friends on here, and really, the only reason I was still around (on twitter) was talking with Diana on a daily basis. But you know what's the real thing? My life has been circling around shortcomings and calamity, and I'm sick with the internet, I'm sick with the people around me (the Greeks), my country, my being fooled, Uni not being helpful, my own indecisiveness about things, not being able to grow out of some things, and mainly resentful jealousy, and I need a break. To those who are awaiting subs, that's why I mentioned |semi| hiatus, I AM reworking on them finally. I don't know whether I'll be able to put them up soon again or not or stuff. I'm sorry.
I don't know how to react towards all of you, and you're damn many this year, who complain about every little thing in life when you are able to go to Japan. I would die to get there, I've been waiting for years, having plans sink for 4 years, I'm being opposed to about it and prisoned in this rotten country (ALL of you have seen what goes on in Greece on your news, we're a worldwide phenomenon >.>), not supported, and I can't even talk about it to anyone because they are all fed up with me. Everyone is averting from me just because I start talking about Japan. Yes I know I only talk about it. But I won't stop complaining about even the slightest things until I get to go. You, on the other hand, guys, who are going, to my selfish little opinion, have no right to complain. I know what goes on in your lives by your updates or our random talking, I know it's not good either, and as I mentioned, this is only my SELFISH opinion.
I didn't say everything would be peaceful if/when I finally get to go to Japan. But I'm jealous to the point of insanity, to the point of hating myself for not being able to genuinely feel happy about my friends, and every time any of you mentions your trips I can't do anything but cry. On a certain day, maybe because I'd fought with everyone in my family too, I hurt myself in real while I was crying- I was crying so much and clawed myself because of my jealousy and inability to do something about it. I can't even save up, all the savings I always keep go away within a month because my family is trampling on the edge of /barely enough to live/ vs /poor/. I want you to know that for me telling you this, it took a lot of thinking, and I'm detesting myself for thinking it AND letting you all know how I feel too. I know a good number of you get anxious about this entry being directed to you, but it's not directed to anyone in particular. It's about what I think, and right now, after much patience, many fights, many sleepless nights and tears, I selfishly decided to rest my burden on you. Think what you may of me, of this, of how stupid my reason for going on hiatus is, but take notice and please, not in any way think that I intended to hurt you or bitch on you indirectly. You know if I didn't have you all I'd have gone nuts instead of becoming a better person through our relationships, however distant and frail they might seem. I know I've always been there for you either you wanted me or you didn't, maybe I was over-reacting too, but just this once I can't truly side with anyone. Until this feeling sleeps again, until this wretched torture stops hurting me, I won't look at anything. Please forgive me.
or well, the woman everyone toys with.
言おうっと。
大切な人の誕生日
渋やんの
30歳の誕生日
お誕生日おめでとうおっさん!!!
30歳になって
もっともっと変態なおっさんで
歌上手いなかっこええアイドルで
沢山の人の心を動かすアーティストで
いつまでもいて下さい。
Happy birthday Subaru ;~;
まぁ、一番サイショウエイターになった時は渋とヒナがbiasだったので、
渋の話をするとやっぱり、気持ちも心も落ち着かなくなる・・・
またもね^^;
mellowMy singaporean eighters, and sandy too, you all know you guys are really really high in my heart. My lovely scolding rational Vale you are too. My lovely internet mom that I can't stop thinking about, you know you are too.
It's just that two kids younger than me kind of steal more space.
When I say I love you so much to Maha, I feel bad about Diana. When I say I love you so much to Diana, I feel bad about Maha. Why should people feel like they only have to have one best/closest friend? I can't pick between these two and I don't want to. I've told them many things about me that no one else knows, even people irl, things that I haven't even written in my diary. I won't ever make a discrimination. I love both of them so much it's insane. I love them as a friend, an older sister, I love them truly and whole-heartedly, I feel protective over them and I really want to meet them as soon as possible. Out of all the people I've met on the internet through the years... These two are just a bit above everyone.
So I just wanted to say I love you to all of flist. These two might be slightly above you all, but you guys have to know you're really important to me as a whole.
THE LONG AWAITED!!! It didn't even take a week!! 8D 8D 8D
Now I have to buy 'the color of magic' and 'the light fantastic' sometime!
I just love the Discworld novels so damn much!
cheerfulcredits to several ppl on sina and misamisa_0402 on twitter.
bias goes on anan, YAY, PORTABLE PORN MATERIAL.
let's set this hypothetical situation that came to me when I calmed down... Suppose your parents catch you staring at the mag.
parent: wait, is that--?
you: what?
parent: I thought girls.. don't... you know...
you: ...no, I don't need to look at the pictures to do it. My future husband's in it, is all.
-____-
It felt really cool to be able to say that. Even if it was in my dream. Hah, "girls don't need to look at mags and stuff to do their thing". And even if we did, I certainly don't, with this man. Only looking at the way he sits or raises his hand to scratch his nose or fix his man can turn me on.
And to think I thought I had calmed down... or that I'm talking about the man on my icon...-.-"
yay, back to zero progress.
With my sister~ We're gonna buy booooooooooks gah my lovers ;~; As penniless as we are there's been YEARS since the alst time we were able to buy like decent ppl... Not that now we have... But come on. IF I FIND THIS I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH IT'LL COST I'LL BUY IT BECAUSE MAGRAT IS JHGFDSASDFGHJGFDSADFG AND BEING A QUEEN AND A WITCH AND WITH A BABY GIRL IS ALLASDFGHJGFDSADFG ON ITS OWN PLUS THE JOKERMAN BECAME THE KING AFTER WYRD SISTERS AND GAH, awesome stuff 8D
And yeah, I'm done flailing for the moment <333 If I don't find it, I'm gonna tell dad to put money in so I can buy it online, along with 'Equal Rites'. Trying to gather as many of Discworld novels as I can <33333
bouncywhat's going through my head right now:
Μα πώς Παναγία; Πώς γι'αυτούς χορεύει ωραία -το κορμί της πώς πετάει φωτιές...
But how, Beata Maria? How can she dance beautifully for them -how can her body spark flames...
this whole song makes me want to translate the greek version into english, switch the female with male, and write it into a ryohkura fic where Kura is somewhat religion-related and Ryo's a gypsy. He's not hard to picture.. OTL
ranting of a very sleepless girl, as with, subbing and 24hr terebi I haven't gotten much sleep since Friday...
BED. Because I've gotta go to grandma and cleanup her yard tomorrow =) HOUSEHOLDING INCLUDING WATER YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I WON'T BE HOT AND WHEN I GO HOME I CAN HAVE A SHOWER TOO YAY MORE WATER 8D
Yeah. Bye =D
Today's average temperature is about 33 C. No let me get this damn straight, I've gone through hotter days- last summer was the hottest ever recorded, they say, and with the highest levels of humidity for our town. I drink too much water, so I think I'm okay. And I even went down to Malaysia and the heat didn't cause me any trouble, even though it was neverending and continuous.
So what the hell happened to me just now? I woke up today feeling like I can't breathe, most of the time. I came down here, sat at my PC and did nothing different than what I usually do. Mom is moping upstairs so I couldn't get in to drink water. Foorgetting my bottle, okay >< But I don't know what happened. Just because I had to wait 5 minutes for the floor to dry? I came back downstairs and started hyperventilating, and then out of the blue I was crying. What the hell happened to me?
I'm really not doing anything I haven't done any other day. And it's not even the hottest day of the summer. I'm just sitting here making subs. What happened to you, body/brain? You couldn't wait just 5 minutes? I know I haven't drank but about 5 sips of water today so far (I woke up at 11:45am and it's 1:22pm right now), and usually every day I drink about 8~9lt, but that's no reason for my body to react this way, is it? :/
Needless to say I was hell annoyed and scared like hell. Hyperventilating fit and crying because I couldn't drink water? Now I know that I react with crying even to things like that. Why is crying my instant reaction to everything?
What really bothered me was the crying. Why would I end up crying dammit?
VERY FIRST time timing and doing all the work on my own, so ofc there's gonna be mistakes. Anyone willing to help retime/type more properly/ correct any mistakes
Episode one: MF
Episode two: MF
notes on this epi: I'm not 100% (okay, I'm about 90%) sure that what I read on that letter at the end is exactly correct. I went by the general meaning, mostly. There's a damn kanji that I searched for exactly 2 and a half hours for its meaning, I haven't found it anywhere, and decided to give up and go with the flow of the rest of the sentence. So yeah, if anyone can correct me, feel free to do so~ I swear I spent more time on the letter in the end than the whole episode ><
Episode three: MF
I missed my translation many times because of my PC freezing this week >< Somelines might be crooked because of the timing, but I checked and they were fine... As fine it can seem to me at 5am. I'll be doing epi 4 shortly too~
Episode four: MF
I missed the translation for this one once too... And then my sister has been sitting at the PC I use for this program too, so I didn't have it all for myself XD And, I'm doing another drama too ;) But the important thing is that you guys have the subs for epi 4 now too!
Episode five: MF
No comments on this XD You'll see for your own~ Working on six now...
password for all files: hpkc2011
I time all the subs to the HQ versions (usually the 1280 x 720 x264 files) that are shared on ourhour.
Day 4, year 2007 =) Year of the Path of the Eccentric men and all sorts of awkward retardedness and awesomness =) As well as, year of the first Tokyo Dome performance!
( so many feelings~! )
Thursday is over and it's Friday and before I realized it's Saturday, 4:22am. And all I've been doing since Monday at around 11am is gif Eito.. And I came to realize something. I've been gifing all these things, but 1) even though I love gifing and spend hours on it even just for the gifaday communities, this week it turned into a torture :/ My sleeping pattern is messed up, I can't do anything but gif, my eyes and back hurt... 2) there's not many ppl interested anyway, so why continue? 3) I'm running out of space on my scrapbook already, and 4) I'll run out of things to gif for the communities, plus, what about next year? What am I gonna do? So I decided to split it in two, and gif everything from 2008 onwards for the 2012 Eito day =)
Rest assured though, I'm still gonna gif every day, many things, OTHER and MORE than jut PVs and concert footage for the communities. So have your eyes and watch over
Kore kara mo yoroshiku!
This might be sudden but it concludes my own little submission to gift the Eighters for 2011's Eito day, even a few days after it's passed <3
accomplishedthis time it's 2006~ Too bad I couldn't post on my bday, becaues then I could say that I post my favorite con's gifs on the day of my 20th birthday =) (it matter because you're finally an adult in Japan at 20 XD)
( there are about 60 gifs in here... )
Ssssssssooooooooo... my photobucket account reached its bandwidth limit. Ha-ha-ha. Idk where the hell my imageshack account went, and I'm reaching the limit for my paid account scrapbook on LJ. WHAT THE HELL DO I DOOOOOOOOO XD
It's 2:13am and so it's Friday. And all I've been doing since last sunday is GIFGIFGIFGIFGIF Eito. And I still need to GIFGIFGIFGIF for 2007 and 2008. MY SHOULDERS ARE BEYOND SALVATION FROM STIFFNESS, I was told when I got a massage on Wednesday. I was told that I need one every day for a while to get back to normal. BUT, I have no money for that and no friend or relative willing to massage me every day, so I'll go with that cream thingy mom usually uses. EITO WHAT I AM DOING FOR YOU :P
cheerfulso it's an hour and 23 minutes into my birthday =)
And not only mine~
Nakajima Yuto and Hayami Mokomichi, I share my bday with them~ So wish us all happy birthday =)
And this be my birthday card XD With my new obsession~

(i intend to buy the certain photobook XD) This page was like, perfect match for what this day is XD The 19-20 part is the name of the photobook and ultimately was on the page itself, I only added the green text XD
2005!
( HUGELY IMAGE HEAVY 8D )
AND NICKY IS NOW 20 YEARS OLD YAAAAAAAY~~
Tomorrow (today OTL) I won't have time to update at all, as it's my birthday =) So today I made THAT MANY and on Thursday I'll post both for 2006 and 2007!!! So beware!!!
bouncyBUT
I can't deny the eighters the promise I made in the gifing comms I maintain, and share my bit of eito awesomness~
So 7 years since debut, 7 days in the week! I'll be updating every day with a gifspam share of PV and concert gifs (maybe shows too) from each year! All entries will link back to here!
Starting with 2004~
Day 1
I love these retarded dorks that are HUMAN BEINGS above being idols/ artists/ performers/ entertainers. They love their members like family, they're the most awesome people in the world and despite the whole 'jimusho system' thingy, they're still the only people that can move millions people's hearts with a single song's phrase. They've written songs practically with the fans, recording them singing, they've gone through too much to come where they are, they're critical for some people's everyday routine (as that single-mother of 4 or 5 little kids was on Ai no Shurabara), they think of their fans above all. They feel the songs they're singing, be it ones they wrote themselves or songs that others wrote for them. They started off as 8-member BAND, so no matter if to the world they're just another Johnny's idol group, to me they're artists. They're retarded and perverted go a little overboard with fanservice but since they're all like brothers it never matters, they're free spirits and bouncy and beamy and fun and smart and creative and kind, and they mean the world to me, and I could go on forever, but I've got to proceed with the gifpam =)
( brace your browsers!! ∞!!!! )
出会えたことが嬉しくて
なんだか涙が溢れてく
心に元気無限大
大切な仲間
For more eito gifs, I maintain the communities
...To take part or not :/ I haven't REALLY written for anyone but myself in greek since 2006-7.... But it's my favorite publishing house and I intended to send my own book to them anyway... I'm really lost. I want to take place and win. But ideas might be good butbut I have forgotten how to express myself properly in my mother language... Me, who was always praised as the best in my year at literature at school... And have won a national poetry competition... What the hell have I fallen into now.
本当にまよってるの・・・ どうしよう><

complacent